Joe
Lt. Colonel
Posts: 2,653
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Post by Joe on Dec 5, 2021 13:35:21 GMT -5
Hans Kloppenburg or The Gold Shoebox
Marking this, the 88th anniversary of the evening on which a very ordinary cardboard box began its rise towards infamy to ultimately claim its rightful place in the annals of true crime and jurisprudence, it is only ‘fitting’ to hear the entire story... Richard Hauptmann has arranged to host what will come to be known as the 'going-going-gone' celebration for good friend and business associate, Isidor Fisch. Fisch, clever fox that he is has reasoned ahead of time, “Surely my good friend and business associate Richard will be kind enough to look after this nondescript box of ‘personal possessions’ while I’m in the Fatherland, and will certainly resist any temptation to know what it contains.” At the party, Isidor prepares to hand over the box, but suddenly realizing he owes Richard seven large, is now having second thoughts about giving up the object of his true affections. He is understandably quite reluctant to tell his host what’s actually in the box, lest Richard decides to subtract sieben from funfzehn. In truth, the plucky fur trader is also somewhat distracted by the veritable gaggle of attractive frauleins at this evening's celebration. Now here’s where Kloppy comes in… Jolly Hans Kloppenburg, who’s sporting a very festive Kris Kringle beard this evening, had earlier been summoned into the hallway by Richard and instructed to ensure he is witness to any potential shoebox transfers for that evening in a discreet and courteous manner. Hans and Richard, the very best of friends have known for years they could always depend on each other. On cue, Hans begins to serenade the gathering participants with his guitar, stealing a little glimpse now and then, in anticipation of the event. He has also been charged with the task of noting the precise military time as well as the colours of Richard’s tie and shoes for any possible future testimony. Unfortunately, with the importance of this mission weighing rather heavily upon his mind, Hans, who would normally be considered a genuinely understated kind of fellow, has uncharacteristically poured nine Lowenbraus down the hatch since appearing to have come out of the fireplace just a couple of hours previously. And so marks the beginning of one rather calamitous but never tiresome scene after another in which ‘Long John,’ in his finest operatic baritone, is continually heard to boom out over the background milieu, “Mein freund.. did you gottit yet der schuhkarton?!” After countless similar responses to the contrary and certainly at wit’s end, stoic Richard finally resorts to grabbing the swaying Hans by his collar, “Nein dummkopf, but I gottit das Lindenbergen shoebox for you!” He then pulls out and brandishes his miniature 7-shot Liliput pistol, with the intention of teaching his friend a sorely-needed lesson. But after only fanning Hans’s face for a few seconds, opens his hand revealing to one and all that… Mein Gute!.. the gun has disappeared from evidence! A large, collective gasp from the confused party-goers creates a sudden vacuum effect, which snuffs out the Christmas tree candles and snatches the shoebox out of the hands of one very surprised Isidor Fisch. A hush falls over the throng of revelers, who just moments before had been laughing and pointing to the same candles as they flickered in response to Kloppy’s cannonading requests. At the same moment, hostess Anna, who has done her best to remain on top of things, walks into the kitchen backwards, so as not to witness the impending arrival of the shoebox, just as the captain of the house still somewhat off-balance from his earlier antics, but remaining in firm control, intercepts the airborne footwear container and in one deft motion parries it neatly onto the top shelf of the broom closet. “Who is Lili Put?” is Anna’s polite, but equally firm demand of her startled husband. As the door to the broom closet swings closed, eagle-eyed Isidor suddenly spies Anna’s Kirkman Soap coupons and also notices the small ongoing water leak down the outside of the ventilation pipe within. For the rest of the evening, he is on cloud nine, dancing, singing and chatting with the ladies, knowing full well that upon his return to America the following spring, he will have $15,000 in laundered US currency with which to “raise the roof” whenever he pleases. Das Ende
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Post by lurp173 on Dec 5, 2021 17:49:08 GMT -5
Joe,
That is a classic, well done!!
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Post by Sue on Dec 6, 2021 15:18:27 GMT -5
You're a terrific writer for sure, Joe, but I think you got your date wrong.
Wasn't the date of Isidor's bon voyage party on Saturday, December 2, 1933?
I thought trial testimony brought out the Dec. 2 date.
Aren't most parties on a weekend day?
Isidor Fisch sailed for Hamburg on December 6, 1933.
I think he needed a few days after the party to prepare for his trip to Germany?
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Joe
Lt. Colonel
Posts: 2,653
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Post by Joe on Dec 7, 2021 9:46:46 GMT -5
You're a terrific writer for sure, Joe, but I think you got your date wrong. Wasn't the date of Isidor's bon voyage party on Saturday, December 2, 1933? I thought trial testimony brought out the Dec. 2 date. Aren't most parties on a weekend day? Isidor Fisch sailed for Hamburg on December 6, 1933. I think he needed a few days after the party to prepare for his trip to Germany? Ooops.. thanks Sue! Where did I get that date? It's been floating around in my head for years.. I should have checked a 1933 calendar before I posted that.
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Post by hurtelable on Dec 27, 2021 11:44:24 GMT -5
To Joe:
I agree with Lurp and Sue that you are a very good writer, but unless you have ESP and/or can talk to the dead, your post at the start of this thread has to be classified as historical fiction.
I may be somewhat naive here, but why exactly in your story is Hauptmann threatening his good friend Kloppenburg with his gun? Friends, except for mobsters and various sociopaths, don't usually do that sort of thing to friends.
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Joe
Lt. Colonel
Posts: 2,653
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Post by Joe on Dec 28, 2021 9:45:40 GMT -5
To Joe: I agree with Lurp and Sue that you are a very good writer, but unless you have ESP and/or can talk to the dead, your post at the start of this thread has to be classified as historical fiction. I may be somewhat naive here, but why exactly in your story is Hauptmann threatening his good friend Kloppenburg with his gun? Friends, except for mobsters and various sociopaths, don't usually do that sort of thing to friends. I'd call this a mild form of satire Hurtelable.. and probably not a surprise at all to most readers here. I'd also suggest in some ways, the storyline is not quite as unlikely as some of the conclusions that can be found in this case.
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Post by hurtelable on Jan 1, 2022 12:24:19 GMT -5
To Joe: I agree with Lurp and Sue that you are a very good writer, but unless you have ESP and/or can talk to the dead, your post at the start of this thread has to be classified as historical fiction. I may be somewhat naive here, but why exactly in your story is Hauptmann threatening his good friend Kloppenburg with his gun? Friends, except for mobsters and various sociopaths, don't usually do that sort of thing to friends. I'd call this a mild form of satire Hurtelable.. and probably not a surprise at all to most readers here. I'd also suggest in some ways, the storyline is not quite as unlikely as some of the conclusions that can be found in this case. Please refresh my memory on this: what documentation is there on the details of the Fisch going away party at Hauptmann's home in Dec. 1993. Is this just a Hauptmann tale to explain the ransom money in the closet? Or did others supposedly present at the party corroborate that story under oath or via sworn affidavits?
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Joe
Lt. Colonel
Posts: 2,653
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Post by Joe on Jan 2, 2022 19:45:58 GMT -5
I'd call this a mild form of satire Hurtelable.. and probably not a surprise at all to most readers here. I'd also suggest in some ways, the storyline is not quite as unlikely as some of the conclusions that can be found in this case. Please refresh my memory on this: what documentation is there on the details of the Fisch going away party at Hauptmann's home in Dec. 1993. Is this just a Hauptmann tale to explain the ransom money in the closet? Or did others supposedly present at the party corroborate that story under oath or via sworn affidavits? I do know now, that the Fisch going-away party took place on the evening of Sat. Dec. 2, 1933 at Hauptmann's home. I can't point to an actual report but that fixed date came up at trial in support of Hauptmann's and Kloppenburg's claim that Fisch showed up with a small box of his personal possessions which was allegedly for safekeeping with Hauptmann. I also recall reading somewhere that Kloppenburg claimed Fisch did not leave the party with the box, the inference being the box remained with Hauptmann. My own belief is that Fisch on this occasion, was entrusting approximately $15,000 in ransom gold notes to Hauptmann, an amount that Treasury Agent Frank J. Wilson claimed could have represented a similar amount in Hauptmann's ledger books owed to Fisch. I also believe Hauptmann would have known full well what the box's contents were, and that if he did place it on the top shelf of the broom closet that evening, it was only there very temporarily. The whole scenario of a shoebox left forgotten and unseen for eight full months on a shelf susceptible to constant water leaks, which would have generated a pretty musty odour after a while, along with the fact the box would have been easily seen by Anna or Richard from a few feet back, defies any rational explanation.
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Post by Wayne on Apr 3, 2022 18:51:33 GMT -5
And 86 years ago today, BRH was executed.
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Post by Maria on Apr 4, 2022 20:47:26 GMT -5
And 86 years ago today, BRH was executed. Why did this important reminder not trigger a fervent discussion about Hauptmann's execution? Was there enough indisputable evidence presented at the trial to condemn Hauptmann to the electric chair or should the absence of fingerprints at the crime scene have put doubt into the jurors' minds?
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Post by Michael on Apr 5, 2022 15:26:26 GMT -5
Why did this important reminder not trigger a fervent discussion about Hauptmann's execution? Was there enough indisputable evidence presented at the trial to condemn Hauptmann to the electric chair or should the absence of fingerprints at the crime scene have put doubt into the jurors' minds? There's different schools of thought: Innocent, guilty, and "involved" but not alone. The third seems to be the most popular and from that comes various theories ... such as the "inside job" by which others assisted or that Hauptmann was only connected with the extortion, etc. etc. Should he have been executed? No. Obviously not. But he was offered money and commutation to name accomplices but he refused. Anyway, I say if you want to start a discussion about this then absolutely go for it!
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